


common ground

by prouveyrac



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, M/M, logan helps him out, roman is insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 16:46:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13884963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac
Summary: Logan was smart and cautious. Logan played it safe, played it boring, as Roman would typically say, and yet Logan knew better than he did. Roman sometimes wished that he could see eye-to-eye with Logan so that he could finally understand what Logan had that Roman didn’t.Logan didn’t seem to let the others down. Even when he was the source of Thomas’ procrastination, Logan was able to fix it and came up with an idea to battle it. Because that was just how Logan was: he saw a problem and he fixed it, because he was smart and knew what to do.Roman sometimes felt that he was just pouring gasoline onto an already raging fire, and then wondering why it was burning everything in his path.Roman and Logan find common ground in their insecurities.(takes place after "am I original?")





	common ground

Roman would have preferred to not be in his room, alone and surrounded by piles of ideas that were-

He frowned and stopped his train of thought as he flopped down face first on his bed in a very un-princely manner. He gave the floor a hard stare over the side as his feet kicked his shoes off. Ideas that were…  _ what? _ He had just returned from the other sides (mostly Anxiety) destroying his ideas, surely he at least had the talent to describe the rejected ideas.

_ Stupid?  _ His mind offered him.  _ Bad? Unoriginal? Worthless? A waste of time? _

“Unproductive,” Roman finally forced himself to say despite how little he believed it. “Ideas that were _ unproductive _ and shot down and stupid and bad and-”

Roman cut himself off with a groan and rolled onto his back. His fairy lights, the only light in the otherwise dark room, twinkled above him. 

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t lay here and wallow in his own pity because his ideas for the day were unoriginal. He was a prince with some scrap of dignity to keep, and a knight who has faced much worse for much less. To wallow was to be fragile and vulnerable.

But, fuck it, Roman wanted to wallow, and how much dignity did he _ really _ have left? So, in result of his decision to be very pathetic and very weak and very  _ every synonym possible for the previous two words _ , he pressed his hands to his eyes and let out a sigh.

The other sides had seen him fail. They had seen him make ideas that weren’t original, weren’t something that he could proudly put his name on and call it his, and Roman just let it happen. He forced them all into Daydream Mode with him, and yet he couldn’t even keep up with his own plans. He had started with the mindset that he would make a completely original idea, and finished with the disappointment that he couldn’t but it was  _ fine _ because they all had fun, or whatever.

Roman didn’t know what  _ fun  _ they were talking about. Patton, sure, maybe, but Patton had fun doing anything. Roman was convinced the only “fun” that Anxiety could understand was destroying every shred of his ego. Logan might as well have been on Anxiety’s side and, besides, he and Logan were so far off from each other that they were never on the same side in the first place.

Logan was all logic (Roman let a small smile quirk up his lips at the pun) and rational thinking. Logan was being level-headed and unemotional because he could _ think objectively _ or whatever it was that he said he was better at.  _ Logan _ was understanding that he had limits and that to push those limits would only bring disappointment and failure.

Roman, on the other hand, was irrationality. He was impulsively throwing himself and the others into Daydream Mode because Roman couldn’t get a grip on himself. Being Roman was being Creativity and yet being unable to handle any type of criticism.  _ Roman _ was running miles past his limits because he thought he was talented enough to be able to, and then realizing, when he was stuck in the middle of nowhere, that he was nothing special.

(The smile fell off of Roman’s face.)

Logan was smart and cautious. Logan played it safe, played it  _ boring _ , as Roman would typically say, and yet Logan knew better than he did. Roman sometimes wished that he could see eye-to-eye with Logan so that he could finally understand what Logan had that Roman didn’t.

Logan didn’t seem to let the others down. Even when he was the source of Thomas’ procrastination, Logan was able to fix it and came up with an idea to battle it. Because that was just how Logan was: he saw a problem and he fixed it, because he was smart and knew what to do.

Roman sometimes felt that he was just pouring gasoline onto an already raging fire, and then wondering why it was burning everything in his path.

Roman sighed again and pushed himself up. He leaned back on one hand, using the other to run a hand through his hair. As much as he hated to admit it, he really  _ shouldn’t _ be wallowing, at least not in his room. His room had the habit of… growing a mind of its own. It had opened up storm clouds at moments of intense emotion before, and Roman really didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of a dark grey cloud opening up above him and releasing all the feelings he wanted to keep at bay.

He could manage to sit in the commons and be completely unbothered if he played his cards right. He just had to look as  _ if-you-come-near-me-I’m-yelling-at-you _ as possible. Anxiety looked that way all the time, surely Roman could pull off a similar look.

He stood and spun quickly, his normal jacket, sash, and pants being replaced by a burgundy sweatshirt that was two sizes too big and sweatpants. Even a prince had to be comfortable at times, especially when he was uncomfortable with everything else about him.

After thirty seconds of ruffling through his drawers and about two minutes of frustratingly untangling wires, he finally had his headphones around his neck and his hand on the handle of his door-

Only to pull it open and find Logan standing with his hand raised, as if he was about to knock. Logan’s eyes widened behind his glasses and Roman was sure that he wore a similar expression. After a moment, though, Roman looked away with an eye roll.

“Back to brag that you won?” he asked, crossing his arms. “Let me spare you and tell you that I’m coming down to the Commons right now, so you all can get your share of telling me how you are were right and I was wrong.”

Logan frowned and looked away. Roman furrowed his eyebrows at the sight before him. Logan, now donning his own pair of sweatpants and a long sleeve, pulled at the collar of his shirt in lieu of adjusting his tie. He scuffed one of his socked feet on the carpet and finally looked back up at Roman. He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and Roman realized that Logan looked rather shy.

“I was actually wondering if we could talk,” Logan said. He then pointedly added. “Alone.”

Roman eyed him cautiously before slowly taking a step back in his room. “Come in, I guess,” he murmured and took his headphones off, tossing them back onto his desk. Logan followed him in, closing the door quietly behind him. Roman returned to his bed, sitting and bringing his knees to his chest. He quirked an eyebrow at Logan. “Well?”

Logan seemed to be looking anywhere but at Roman. Roman, who was currently not in the mood to be conversing with others when he felt so awful, would have impatiently pushed Logan to speak if Logan didn’t look so apprehensive. So instead, Roman rested his chin on his knees and waited. Logan’s eyes were on the fairy lights, and Roman could see them reflected in his glasses. The small lights cast a dull orange glow on the two of them.

Finally, Logan turned his gaze to Roman. “It’s come to my attention that I should apologize,” he finally said. “I’ve realized that it was not just Anxiety treating you unfairly before, and I should have been more open to your ideas.”

Roman huffed. “Thanks for the pity,” he bit, his annoyance only heightening. “But if Patton was the one who forced you to come here, then I don’t want-”

“I came here by my own intuition,” Logan interjected, and Roman immediately felt like an asshole. An asshole who had capped out his aggravation for the day and was left very, very tired.

“Sorry,” Roman mumbled, turning his head away to stare at the wall.

“It’s quite alright, I can tell that you’re… frustrated,” Logan said. Roman’s gut clenched at now knowing how visually vulnerable he was. “May I sit?”

“Sure,” Roman said and felt the bed dip next to him as Logan sat down.

The two were silent for a couple moments. Roman kept his eyes trained on the wall. He was so tired and so aggravated and he felt like everything about him was  _ wrong _ , and now Logan --smart Logan, level-headed Logan, Logan who knew how to handle himself-- was here, and Roman didn’t know if he would be able to handle being so imperfect next to someone so put together.

“I was thinking about what you had said earlier,” Logan finally said. Roman turned to look at him only to find Logan already looking back at him. “About your… your fear of letting Thomas down.”

Roman sighed and scratched at the back of his neck. “Oh, that,” he said. “I’m sorry that you all had to see that. I was having a bit of a moment, then.”

Logan shook his head. “Roman, there is no need to apologize,” he insisted. “Frankly, I -out of all of us- should have been the most sympathetic to you because, even though I don’t quite  _ do _ feelings, I do understand your fear.”

Roman’s eyebrows shot up. “You do?”

Logan nodded. “Yes, I do,” he said. “I know that we… butt heads a lot, but I do understand what you are feeling. That feeling of not being good enough, of falling short of what is expected of you.”

“But you’re Logic,” Roman said without really thinking. “Aren’t you just naturally right?”

A small smile formed on Logan’s lips. “Precisely that,” he said. “I constantly wonder whether I am truly leading Thomas on the right path, or if the information I am giving him is valid. In his everyday life, he naturally comes across falsehoods and faults in logic. I sometimes fear that I am one of them, that I am just another fallacy distorting his reality.”

Roman frowned. “I just… always thought you were so level headed? I mean, besides last time with your weird snake metaphor paradox… thing.”

Logan chuckled. “Yes, that was definitely an outburst,” he said. “But normally, it’s just a process of keeping what I feel at bay. I am supposed to be the one that guides us to rationality. If the actual voice of reason was to leave, I do not think we would do anything remotely productive.” Logan then paused, as if he was pondering something. “But… that is not something I recommend to the rest of you. It is not always good to keep your fears locked up until it causes high amounts of stress. Which is another part of the reason why I am here.”

Roman raised an eyebrow in question.

“Of course, I came here to apologize to you,” Logan continued. “But also to lend a listening ear. As someone who understands your fear of inadequacy, I thought it might bode well for you to have an outlet. Only if you want to, however.”

Roman stared down at his hands. Very rarely did he ever voice his troubles. He was the Prince, he was supposed to be perfect. He wasn’t supposed to have overwhelming troubles and insecurities. But he did, and Logan  _ understood _ that. Logan saw the similarities in them and wanted to help him, wanted to listen to them.

Suddenly, Roman’s apprehension to open up was washed away.

“I’m-” Roman started before stopping to worry his bottom lip. He carefully thought out his next words as Logan patiently looked on and waited. “I’m very tired,” he finally said. “I spend hours looking for these ideas and trying to make them into something that we can use. For them all to be rejected, I don’t know, I just feel… worn out. Like everything I’m doing has no true meaning because, if I can’t be good at the thing I’m destined to do, then what am I? I’m Creativity, I’m supposed to be the one coming up with all of these original ideas.” He sighed and pulled at his hair. “I just feel like I’m in a rut where I can’t see what I’m supposed to be doing, or where I’m supposed to be headed for.”

Logan nodded. “I see,” he said. “But, Roman, you know that we do not expect perfect originality from you. It’s very difficult to be completely original, and Thomas said it himself: to do so would just wear you out even more.”

“But that’s the thing!” Roman exclaimed, feeling a twist in his gut. “I’m Prince Roman, I’m Creativity! Everything I do is supposed to be original by default! My own room is the center for creative thinking with a branch into the Dreamscape, where ideas run freely! I’m not supposed to be here, struggling to create something that’s already been done before. I’m supposed to be making original ideas with ease.”

“Falsehood,” Logan said. “You are already doing your best by being our Creativity. Just by finding these ideas, you are helping us. It is extremely difficult to be completely original, and to set such high expectations for yourself will only upset you further. Yes, some of us might be slightly… opposed to adopting ideas that have already been done before, but you make it something personalized to us. All of your ideas, while they may not all be one-hundred-percent original, are not copies, plagiarized from other sources, but are editions custom-made for us. And I, personally, think you do a very good job of that.”

Roman looked away, rubbing at his eyes. He was glad Logan didn’t say anything about that. “I sometimes get so disappointed with myself,” he said quietly. “I… I understand what you’re saying, and I want to believe it, but…” He trailed off, not able to find the right words.

“But it’s hard to distance yourself from what you once thought, and the expectations you once placed on yourself,” Logan finished for him and Roman nodded, biting his bottom lip. “I know what you’re saying, Roman. It’s why I’m here- I’m here to help you. Even just talking about what you’re feeling can help you in the future. You’re accepting that it’s okay to make mistakes, and that it’s okay to be inspired by ideas instead of trying to think of completely original ones. I don’t expect your insecurities to go away in a night, I’m just… glad that you are beginning to see reasoning. Even if it’s a small step, it’s still one step forward.”

Roman nodded, wiping at his eyes one last time. “I’m really trying to make good ideas, Logan,” he said. “Even if they’re inspired by something… I’m really trying.”

Logan nodded. “I know that, Roman,” he said. “We all do, and we appreciate that- even Anxiety, probably. That’s all we can ask of you: to give your best without overworking yourself to the point of distress. And, no matter what you think, we are all impressed by your ideas. Even the ones you suggested today, I didn’t think there was anything particularly wrong with them. Except for the Ninja Turtles but, you know, small steps.”

Roman let out a laugh and nodded. “Yeah, I was at the end of my rope with that one,” he admitted. “But… thank you, Logan. This-... knowing that you understand how I feel helps a lot. Talking helped a lot.”

Logan nodded and smiled at him. “We may bicker on occasion, Roman,” he said. “But I do consider us close, and I admire the work that you do. Of course I will be here to lead you to a sound mindset when you need it, especially when it pertains to an issue that I can relate to. Always remember, Roman, despite our occasionally harsh critiques, you are a valued member, and we would not be the same without you.”

Roman grinned. “Thank you, Logan,” he repeated softly. “I… I appreciate this a lot.”

Logan nodded and gently clasped Roman’s shoulder. “There’s no need to thank me,” he said. “I’m just doing what I should be doing- helping a friend.”

Roman felt his cheeks flush at the touch, and he was suddenly very glad for the dim lighting. “And you know that you can always talk to me, too, right?” he asked.

Logan nodded with a smile. “I’ll take note of that,” he said and then stood up. “I think I’m going to go back to the Commons, for who knows what Patton or Anxiety are doing down there. Will you be joining me?”

Roman laughed. “I might come down after you let me know that nothing is in shambles.”

Logan laughed, too. “I’ll be sure to let you know,” he said and started towards the door.

“Oh, and Logan?” Roman said when Logan had the door open, ready to walk out.

Logan turned back to him with a raised eyebrow.

“I really do consider you a friend,” Roman said. “Despite our bickering and all.”

“Me as well,” Logan said. “And I hope that our relationship only improves from here.” Roman then watched Logan leave and took a distinct note of the flutters that ran through his heart and stomach.

_ Oh. _

Maybe Logan wasn’t so far off from Roman after all, and maybe Roman didn’t want him to be.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! as always, kudos and feedback are greatly appreciated!!! <3
> 
> ethospathoslogan.tumblr.com


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